Hidden Threats to Your Team Culture: The Unspoken Rules That Undermine Success

Photo by Kristina Flour on Unsplash

I bet you can think of one or two unspoken “rules” of your team or corporate culture. They aren’t rules as much as norms. Sometimes the unspoken norms are culture boosters (cupcakes and confetti on your birthday!) and sometimes they’re not (make sure you’re seen working right up until 5 pm on Fridays or heads will roll).

Either way, the unspoken “rules” have just as much impact as the formalized cultural norms (maybe more!). Cultural norms, whether overt or covert, drive the employee experience.

As a leader, are you aware of the unspoken rules in your culture?

Here are some examples of 'unspoken' rules:

• Avoid collaborating with others. You will receive more credit for getting it done on your own.

• Leadership is allowed to use humor and sarcasm when communicating with the team, but the team should not speak that way to leaders or they'll be considered entitled and ungrateful.

• Public scolding is a tactic powerful leaders use to express disappointment and to create motivation.

• Never ask your leader for a promotion. If you've earned it, it will be given to you. Just keep waiting for it...

• In hybrid work environments, you should come into the office when the boss is in, even if it is your scheduled remote work day.

• If you need something done, 'cc' an executive leader or the recipient's boss on the email.

These are all real examples shared with me by clients, coworkers, and friends. With these examples in mind, it's no surprise that unspoken rules lead to unclear expectations and anxiety in the workplace.

Here's something that might surprise you:

Leaders can be unaware of the unspoken rules in their own team or company cultures.

Now, before you take me to task on that statement, I acknowledge there are times when leaders are well aware of the intent behind their behaviors (cough*public scolding*cough cough).

However, I've worked for beloved leaders who care deeply about their company cultures, but who are unaware of the "rules" because they're not impacted by them.

There’s a lot of disconnect between leaders and employees when it comes to the employee experience and as a leader, I want to create connection.

Leaders: Invite your team to have a candid conversation with you about the culture they experience because... spoiler alert: it might be different than the culture you experience. Let them know your intent is to reduce confusion, anxiety, and inequity.

1. What unspoken “rules” have you encountered within our team or company culture?

2. How did you learn about them?

3. Which unspoken rules are creating anxiety and confusion?

4. Which unspoke rules are a danger to our culture?

5. How should we go about addressing the unspoken rules that are negatively impacting our culture?