This is your sign to connect

One of my team members recently told me: “I feel like we’ve been ships passing in the night a lot lately.” Uh-oh. This is not good feedback. Interestingly, this person and I have both been in the office regularly and we haven’t missed our normal weekly one-on-one meetings. So, what’s causing this feeling of disconnection?

It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem. It’s me.

My calendar has been jammed recently for several reasons including:

·      My team’s responsibilities have expanded, but my team hasn’t.

·      As a result, I am trying to do too much on my own to avoid overloading my team.

·      I accepted three different facilitation gigs internally because leaders and team members are asking for professional development. (How can I say no to that??)

·      I’m part of a stakeholder group trying to select a new technology solution for the company, which means I’ve been part of over a dozen demo and discussion meetings.

Because of this, I’ve missed out on informal connections with my team—fewer coffee chats or Pilates classes before work. They can’t swing by my office with a question because I have very little unscheduled time. As I rush from meeting to meeting, I try to call out a quick hello as I breeze by my team members working at their desks. My lack of presence is making one team member (and likely others) feel they’ve lost touch with me. Eeek.

What might my team be thinking about me based on this behavior?

·      She’s too busy for non-business conversations. I’ll try to stay out of her way.

·      Her priorities are shifting. Maybe she isn’t going to have as much time for us.

·      I don’t want to bother her with this issue I’m having. I’ll just keep it to myself.

·      Is that what it takes to grow in this company? I’m not sure I want that.

Thankfully, I’m confident we’re in the early stages of this disconnection and there are actions I can take to reconnect.

Here’s what I’m doing:

Creating little moments of connection however I can.

·      An informal Teams chat (preferably with a fun GIF or two)

·      An “I thought of you when…” message

·      Asking how they’re doing and letting them know how I’m doing

Delegating when I can.

There’s a happy place somewhere between passing everything down onto my team and keeping everything myself. I ask myself: Does delegating this task give my team member a chance to build relationships, show their value, and solve the problems they’re best positioned to solve? If yes, then delegate.

Managing my time and energy. Full stop.

Last week, I was out of the office for the full week traveling and attending workshops. By Friday night, I was a walking zombie. I slept hard for two nights and even napped on Saturday (not my norm.) All day on Saturday and Sunday, I kept thinking I should reply to some emails, check a few things off my list. But I didn’t. I NEEDED two full days to rest, relax, connect with my friends and family. On Monday, I was ready to rock.

No one is responsible for renewing your energy but you. I see folks neglect this responsibility all the time.

Get some sleep. Drink more water. Say ‘no’ to some things. Turn off your work email in the evenings. Ask for help. Stop working nights and weekends. Get some groceries delivered and cook a simple, nutritious meal at home.

No one is handing out medals for burning out. Your people need you.

Knowing yourself, knowing your team, and knowing how to rebuild connection are essential leadership skills.

The level of connection my team expects from me has dipped lower than I’d like. I understand why that is, I know the impact it will have on them if I don’t fix it, and I’m taking responsibility and action. Onward!